“Unrepentent” Bomber McCain Spent Years in Prison. “I’d Do It Again” Says Senator

What if the same Republicans who ran both of George Bush’s campaigns and who are now in charge of John McCain’s campaign were working for the Democrats – ANY Democrat – and running against John McCain as the opposing candidate?  What kind of press releases, surrogate talking points and commercials would we be seeing then?

The answer is headlines just like today’s Greenius puts in our own special invisible sarcastic air quotes.

Apparently John McCain uses the air quotes instead of crossing his fingers behind his back whenever he’s lying and smearing his opponent.

So being that I am aware of all Internet traditions, I thought this was the most delicious device to use whenever I’m posting something I don’t really believe but want to put out there anyway.

It is in that All American spirit I offer you these shocking headlines written by a graduate of the Karl Rove School of Rugged Manly Journalism:

McCain Personally Causes More Global Warming Than Any Candidate In History “I LIKE It Hot,” Arizonan Boasts

McCain Says Nuclear Waste “Totally Safe & Tasty Too

McCain Says Solar & Wind Power Anti-American & Dangerous “We Can’t Afford To Use Inexperienced Energy When We Can Be Drilling Here, Drilling Now!”

McCain Steals Water From Thirsty Drought Suffering Grandmothers and Children in Colorado, “Try and Stop Me, Suckers!”

McCain Ready to “Fight To The Gates of Hell” for Super Wealthy Tax Cuts – “Those At the Top Have Have Suffered Enough!”

Cindy McCain’s Illegal Drug Use Helped Fund Terrorists Who “Hate Real America”

McCain Denies “Hot & Heavy Bromance” With Joe The Lieberman.

McCain Found To Be Born In 3rd World Country “Technically the Canal Zone Is Really America,” Claims El Mavrico

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